The reality of stepping out there after a long hiatus—whether you’re divorced or widowed—is anxiety-producing. But what I’ve learned about myself and about men couldn’t have been experienced otherwise. Who knows what you’ll glean from an hour or two (or forty-five minutes, in a few cases) over coffee, or a glass of wine, or dinner. And this is a good thing. Healthy and perhaps even a tad heart warming. And fun, too. Stuff I’ve Picked…
Don't take online dating personally.
Can men and women be friends-only? We are a group of seven women of a certain age, sitting around the dinner table (yes, there is wine), talking about relationships. Since we don’t know one another that well, there are lots of questions. “What about men friends,” I ask. “It’s harder at our age, but do you have male pals?” Out of the seven, two have male acquaintances, but only one has a male friend. “I…
Dating in middle age…well, it’s different from dating when we were younger and met someone in person. IRL—in real life—is the acronym used nowadays. I’m offering up a few pointers to new daters and the date-weary. Online dating is not for the tender, but then neither is getting older. 1. Don't take online dating personally If you take online dating personally, you’ll give up before you meet your honey. Online dating can be fun, but…
It's been a while since we've talked about anything datey. I have a few friends who are distance dating, and one friend who's met her honey. They just bought a house together. So, yes, distance dating is a thing. If you talked or “met” on a dating site before Covid, but didn’t get together, now could be the time. In spite of the pandemic, dating––at a distance––is a happening thing. But if your profile reads…
With everything going on in our world these days, friends are essential to our health. I don’t have family nearby, so maintaining my friendships is especially important, especially those friendships with history. It takes effort, but staying in contact with as many of our friends as possible is a priority for most of us. In fact, I’ve put a name to this and say I’m dating my friends. Not so weird since I write a…
The best fight ever! The best fight my parents ever had was the day my father tried to outrun my mom in their own house. Before I get into the story, there’s something you need to know about Annie, my mom. She’s slow to anger and she’s not a yeller. In truth, my mom’s as placid as a petunia, and people gravitate to her, gather around her. A caretaker, never the center of attention, she’s…
Try On a Naturally Positive Attitude I had another of those relationship discussions recently with a few single friends. What they have in common is all have plunged into online dating. And everyone agrees that online dating is more painful than a dental scaling and root planing of all four quadrants of your mouth. With one exception. Miranda (not her real name), has no complaints about internet dating. She dumped her boyfriend of two years,…
Don't Get Overwhelmed by the Strangeness of it All If you’re new to dating, you can get overwhelmed with anxiety about details, like what to wear, or fear that you won’t recognize your date in a crowded bar. "She'll see I'm fifteen pounds overweight," said a friend going on his first meet in two years. Other friends worry their date won't resemble his profile photo. "I lied about my height, but only by an inch,"…
What do you notice in the first few seconds on a first meet? His comb over? Her weight? This unscientific survey is brought to you courtesy of my friends (names changed) and acquaintances, all middle ageish and dating online. They were all asked the same question and yes, the sex card was played. Or at least mentioned. What Women Notice in the First 5 Minutes We pick up on certain things. Such as you asking…